Darwin Cherries

Our Emerald Isle – Darwin Cherries

While out on one of my weekend walk-a-bouts I came across a grove of trees that after closer examination was an orchard.  Not being one who knows one tree from another I was not sure what type of orchard it was.  It was very well kept and I noticed that in between the rows of trees there were potato hills.   

I sat down to rest when I noticed an old man walking between the trees and mounds straight towards me.  I figured he was the owner and going to tell me I was trespassing and for me to leave.  Quite the contrary.  He introduced himself as Jamie O’Rilley and yes he was the owner of the orchard and the trees were cherry. He was a very nice sort of chap and talkative too.

He told me he had been developing this cherry orchard for over 20 years and it produced more cherries per tree than any other like size orchard in the country, possibly the world.  I told him that I really never associated Ireland with cherry trees and he responded that is normally the case but for some reason they seemed to flourish in these parts.  “Even the horticultural society in Belfast can’t explain it.  But here it is.”

“Have you always grown cherries?” I asked.

“No, like most people in these parts I use to grow potatoes but like most people it was boom or bust each season.  I was reading a catalogue one winter and decided to order a couple of cherry tree seedlings.  Just for fun if for no other reason.  I mean how excited can one get over potatoes?

“When the seedlings arrived I followed the instructions very carefully and it seems like in no time at all I had some sprouts and the next thing you knew I was able to plant some between potato rows.  It was just a hobby at that point.  I really never expected to see any cherries.  However after a couple of years or so there were some blossoms and then the biggest reddest best looking cherries I had ever seen appeared.  I was just about ready to pick my first harvest when a flock of birds swooped down and ate every last one of them cherries right off the limbs. 

“Well I was a little annoyed but it was not a great loss for I had very little money tied up in the endeavor but I took it as a real challenge and decided to outwit the birds.  The next winter I got a bunch of rubber snakes and hung them from the branches.  I had read that birds do not like snakes and thought that my decoy of sorts would scare them off.  The next spring, blossoms, cherries, bigger and better than the year before, but the birds came again.  I guess that since there are no snakes in Ireland the birds didn’t know they should be afraid of them.  I was not deterred.

“The next winter I hung aluminum pie plates and strips from the branches.  I thought that perhaps the glitter from the constant swaying in the sunlight would confuse the birds and even create an obstacle for them to land on the branches and eat my cherries.  Well as you can guess that didn’t work either.

“I decided that cherries were not in my future and I would just let the trees go to seed and fend for themselves.  At least I would be feeding the birds through a natural process. 

“It was around Christmas when I received a tin of popcorn from by cousin in America.  It contained three different colored kinds of popcorn -  yellow, caramel, and red.  The yellow had a cheesy sharp cheddar taste much to my liking, the caramel as you would suspect tasted of caramel and satisfied my sweet tooth, the red would be cinnamon I assumed.  When I tried the red it was cinnamon but it tasted terrible and burnt the inside of my mouth.  I spit it out immediately.  Who would eat this more than once was my first thought.  Then on my second thought it dawned on me. 

“After the last snow of the winter while the snow was a crystal white I spread the hot cinnamon popcorn, doused by a little red pepper, on the ground under the cherry trees.  The birds spotted the red specks on the ground and welcomed the early food supply.  However, when they started eating the red popcorn it tasted to them like it did to me but even worse.  They started identifying red with a hot bitter taste which they found repugnant and looked for another food supply as it turned out. 

“That spring the blossoms came the cherries came and they have been coming ever since.  The birds have returned but they are attracted to the insects that can ruin a potato crop and the additional insects that are drawn to cherries and not the cherries themselves.  The birds don’t leave this inexhaustible food supply of insects thus increasing the fertilization required for my cherry trees and potato plants.  Not only do I now have a huge cherry crop each year I haven’t had a bad year growing potatoes for a long time.

“Each year I add a few more trees, throw out some hot cinnamon popcorn laced with red pepper, and the result is what you see.  I sell most of the product under the brand name of Darwin and have made a comfortable living.”

“Darwin, Darwin Cherries, uh, why not O’Rilley, Devere, or O’Malley cherries after you or the community?”

“Oh, I don’t know the name just seemed to me like a natural selection.”