Monday, April 18, 2011

Crisp Lake Chroncles - Vol 6, 1953

Charges were dropped against Jim Francis and J.C. Mack last Tuesday by Municipal Court Judge Homer Simms.  A spokesman for Judge Simms said that as always the Judge would have no statement as to the charges in question.  However, the spokesman continued, some times charges are dropped when it is not clear what one has been charged with.

It is no secret that Jim and J.C. were taken into custody after engaging in a brawl across the street from Jim's house and just three doors down from J.C.'s.  Witnesses said that when lead off by authorities both men kept telling Deputy Sheriff Wilson that he did not understand.  Deputy Sheriff Wilson only responded for them to shut up and get in the car.

The question remains as to why these two friends and brother-in-laws were engaged in fighting.  That is the question for the neighborhood around Lake Drive and Crisp Lake but not to this reporter.  As always when there is a travesty of justice, a miscarriage of decency, or just plane interesting gossip, the CLC community can count on us being there and uncover the truth, the whole truth, and mostly resembling the truth so help us Colonel Crisp, CSA.   This is what really happened between Jim and J.C.

Jim Francis liked most of all two things.  One was his hunting dog Killer and the other was playing tricks on J.C. Mack.  J.C. Mack liked two things.  One was scrounging around the back entrances of retail stores up in Fairmount and collecting things thrown out and the other was playing tricks on Jim Francis.

Now the two men were brother-in-laws by marriage.  Their wives were sisters and the sisters did not want to live very far away from each other so only three house separated them on Lake Drive on the lake bank side of Crisp Lake.

The tricks or practical jokes were legendary around the neighborhood.  It had been three weeks since "some one" had wrapped Limburger Cheese around J.C.'s car manifold and that some one of course being Jim was waiting for the return shot.  It was taking a little bit longer than normal for J.C. to respond but respond he would, but when and where and how was getting to be a little unsettling for Jim.

One evening J.C. was scrounging around the back alley of the TG&Y up in Fairmount and he came across a female manikin.  It was in two parts, the bottom and the top.  J.C. thought that that might look funny in the lake stuck in the mud.  The top part sticking up waving its hand and next to her the bottom half with its legs stuck up in the air.  While loading the two parts into his car he notice an old hair piece that must at one time have belonged to the the manikin.  He took it for good measure.  On his way home a seed of an idea started to grow.  It took growth fertilized by the odor of Lindbergh Cheese.  It grew until it was ready for harvest.

J.C. knew Jim took his dog, Killer, down to the junk yard along the Missouri River next to Sugar Creek every Friday night.  There Killer would chase anything that would run and catch anything that didn't run fast enough.  Jim told everyone it was a way that Killer could keep his instinct's in check and not run wild in the neighborhood.  No one ever really believed Jim however because Killer didn't seem at all like the killing kind of a dog.  Dachshunds don't usually strike fear into the hearts of man or beast.  Jim's wife Eve never went with Jim but this Friday she was going because her sister three house down was going to a meeting of the  Woman's Auxiliary of the Crisp Lake Association.  Eve had not joined yet and there for not invited.  Her sister Marie urged her to join that Friday because Mrs Midget was going to bring some homemade Romanian Calzones.  But Eve declined none the less because she wanted to see what Jim and Killer did every Friday anyway.

Before going to Jim's place J.C. stopped by Mrs Midgets place to see what she was serving for the Woman's Auxiliary meeting.  He picked up a couple of Calzones and headed up the street and parked a little further down the street just in front of Jim and Eve's place.  There were no street lights so no one saw him carry the manikin inside the house.  He placed the top part of the manikin in Jim and Eve's bed with only the head protruding.  He then smeared some of the Calzone on top of the plastic head and put the wig over that.  Under the bed he slipped the bottom torso so as only to expose the legs protruding from the bed.  J.C. then moved his car back to his own driveway and headed walking, back to Jim's place with a folding chair and Calzone tucked securely under his arms.  He put the folding chair behind a bush across the street form Jim's place, sat down, unwrapped his Rumanian Calzone, ate slowly and waited.

About half way through his Calzone Jim, Eve and Killer pulled up.  Killer dashed out of the car and ran inside with Eve following close behind.  Jim was getting out of the driver side of the car and rounding the rear end when he heard Killer graul and Eve scream.  As Jim dashed up the front porch steps he first saw Killer come running out of the house with what looked like hair in his mouth and in a dead run was heading up the street.  As he was trying to fathom what was going on Eve ran out of the house with a shawl over her head screaming and running down the street in the opposite direction of Killer.  Jim was very confused.  His first instinct was to run after Eve but she was heading in the direction of her sisters so he knew that she would be safe and given proper medical attention because he had begun to think that Killer had finally shown his true nature and pulled Eve's hair off to punish her for intruding on his time with his Master.  So Jim not wanting to see Killer attack anyone else in a frenzy, went off to see if he could chase down Killer. 

Killer finally stopped running about 5 houses up the street but every time Jim would come close Killer would run one direction then another, always carrying the head of hair that was really the wig of course.   All of a sudden Killer stopped. He looked around, cocked his head and made a beeline towards the bush J.C. was hiding behind enjoying the whole show along with a number of neighbors who had congregated out side when they heard Eve screaming and Jim yelling at Killer.  Killer jumped on the back of J.C. not to harm J.C. but to get the rest of the Calzone J.C. was eating.  Apparently Killer had smelled the Calzone under the wig of the manikin and tried to eat it, not realizing that the wig was only tainted with Calzone odor.  Having a good nose like all Dachshunds he finally smelled J.C.'s Calzone and went for it. 

J.C. fell out of his chair and wrestled around with Killer, Jim saw J.C. and Killer wrestling around so Jim joined in the fray to try and separate the two.  There were elbows and legs and tails thrashing about when finally Keller was successful in snagging the Calzone away from J.C. and he and Jim could only watch in breathless irritation as Keller went off with the hair/wig and J.C.'s Calzone. 

As luck would have it Deputy Sheriff Wilson came driving down the road at the same time and wondered why all the neighbors were outside surrounding a bush.  He stopped the car and saw that Jim and J.C. were laying over one another breathless.  Jim said something about his wife being scalped and J.C. said that his Calzone had got eaten,  Eve had ventured back and yelled that there was a body in the house. 

Deputy Sheriff Wilson was a little confused so he called for back up so the situation could be sorted out.  Well it was sorted out but Deputy Sheriff Wilson thought that there must be something to charge Jim and J.C. with.   Judge Homer Simms thought that Deputy Sheriff Wilson was right but unfortunately Judge Simms told the Deputy "it ain't a crime to be stupid."

Jim and J.C. remain friends and have promised their respective wives and Judge Simms that their practical joke days are over.  We shall see, April 1st is just right around the corner.   I, your roving undercover reporter will keep you posted.    Foot note:  If any one comes across a Daschound answering to the name of Killer a $10 reward has been offered.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Appian Way - Rome

Sunday morning we got up early and went to the Pisa Terminal which was different than the one at the airport.  We were told that the train to Rome did not leave until 9:30 but we could catch one in Florence if we left immediately and it would take us there.  We did.  We got to Florence just in time to catch the train to Rome and had to run to do that.  It was a different kind of train than the one we took to Florence, it was more like the ones you see in the movies, you know like side compartments and a small hall way running down one side.  We had to split up and sit in different compartments. 

The trip took about 3 hours so along the way I walked up and down the length of the train.  I met a guy from Romania who I some how figured out was a reporter.  We didn't have a real long conversation because he couldn't understand me more than I him.  Mostly I just looked at the country side going by.  There were many farms and now and then you could see what looked like ruined castles in the distance. 

When we got to the out skirts of Rome the train stopped and we were told not to get off until the second stop if we wanted to be in the heart of Rome.  Rome Central, as they called it was much bigger and more crowed than the terminal in Florence.  We ventured outside and found a little cafe, sat and drank coffee while trying to figure out our next move.  No one thought about getting a map or anything so we just started walking in a general direction that some body in the cafe told us the Colosseum was. 

On our way we came across a lot of interesting looking landmarks and ruins but had no idea what we were looking at most of the time.  I do recall that one place I think might have been the Forum smelled like cat urine and I guess that was because I bet there were a hundred cats just lazying about.  We did see the tomb of the Italian unknown soldier and witnessed a change of guard ceremony.

We had no trouble recognizing the Colosseum of course and I was surprised they just let you walk around the place with few places being off limits.  They had some guides giving lectures to small groups but they were not in English so we just wondered around for about an hour.

We did mange to ask directions to the Vatican and ended up catching a bus that would take us there.  The bus ride was free only because when we got on it was to crowed for us to give the money to the driver who didn't seem like he cared much.

When we reached the Vatican we entered the city/country from a side entrance and a whole bunch of people were in the square looking up at this guy on a balcony.  A voice was booming over a loud speaker.  The guy was Pope John Paul II.  We had accidentally gotten there as he was giving his Sunday blessing to the faithful.

If any one regardless of his religion has any historical perspective or interest in history you had to be impressed to see one of the most powerful men in the world. After the blessing I bought a crucifix blessed by the Pope and it hangs in my house to this day.

We went on an unguided tour of St. Peters.  It was more grand and ornate than anything I had or have seen.  The Piata was near the front entrance, two weddings were going on, a group was singing and a mass was being held.  We ventured down a little stair case and saw a place where a lot of the Popes had been buried and even saw the supposed burial place of St. Peter. 

I stopped a priest on the street and asked him where the Sistine Chapel was.  He pointed it out but also told us it was closed for repairs.  I was disappointed.  That is one thing I really wanted to see.

We walked back to the train station. We crossed the Tiber River, ate in a cafe, saw another Basilica and countless other strange, interesting, and beautiful places. 

We ended up getting on the right train back to Florence some how, our trek was over.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Appian Way - Florence

Feb. 1992

After winning the bowling bet and paying for every ones ticket we left Saturday morning by train from Pisa near Camp Darby.  The train station was also near the airport.  The train ride was only one hour and when we got to Florence their central train station was extremely busy.  It reminded me of what the US train stations must have looked like back when commercial train travel was in its heyday.  Apparently most of the larger cities in Europe have train stations just as big and just as busy.  We immediately found our way to the Galleria dell' Accademia where resided Michelangelo's David.  The Galleria was sort of a small place considering the giant reputation of the statue.  There were other statues and painting and many tapestries of a religious nature.

We then ventured towards the center of town and visited a big church  known as the Duomo.  It was huge, impressive, artistic, and being used for several weddings and religious services.  I had never seen anything that large and that majestic.  Across the street was the Basilica and the best I could tell was a church smaller than a cathedral and larger than a chapel.

I went off by myself trying to find a Gucci store.  I stopped several people on the street and asked them directions.  It soon was apparent that unless I stopped middle aged well dressed people it was a waste of time.  Finally I stumbled onto enough people and in their broken English they guided me to the right place.  Sort of small and unimpressive for such a big reputation on the out side.  The inside was lavish and expensive as one would suspect.  The sales person was not very helpful and if one can look down ones nose he did.  It might have been because I was unshaven, dressed in jeans, and had a flannel shirt on and I asked him what was the cheapest thing they had in the store.  I ended up buying a key chain for $50.

I ran into the LTC and he and I shared a spot of tea and a pastry.  It cost about 17000 Lira, about $15.  This was before the Euro and the rate of exchange if I remember correctly was $1 for every 1,225 Lira  It was really something I thought to carry around L500,000 in your pocket.

We caught up with the rest of the group and went to the Medici palace I think it was and saw all kinds of painting.  We did not know what we were looking at and no doubt saw a bunch of famous paintings not realizing how famous they were.  There were two big pictures by Michelangelo and Leonard Di Venci which for some reason I recognized, probably because the plaque on the wall beside them.  They were impressive of course.  If I had been up on my art work or paid closer attention in Art Appreciation I might have had a more enriched experience.

My overall impression of Florence was that it was large but quaint, dirty but had an individual sparkle.  There were small cars and many scooters.  Many girls held hand and arms as they walked around town, a sign of friendship nothing else.  To a lesser extent men did the same thing.  Not sure about them though.

I saw men rowing on the river, saw people from all over the world with all types of dress.  I was surprised to see as many Africans as I did.  Their cultural dress were just so so, but they held themselves with dignity.  The Italians were not dressed that well but for those who did they rally stood out and smacked of money.  The men wore their coats over their shoulders without using the sleeves.

There were no bars like we know them.  There were many cafes however that sold bear, wine and liquor and coffee, ice cream always being available a log with Coke. 

I just walked around most of the day and observed and eventually made my way back to the train station and back to Pisa.  The next day would be Rome.

Log 11 - Alaska

Log 11,  Alaska

8/17/04

Gee, no entry for a long , long time.  I am in Pitka's Point. Paula stayed back to take care of the boys.  I'm alone up here and really don't like it - the part about being alone.  But that has always been one of my fantasies, to winter in the far north alone and isolated.  Well perhaps I am not that isolated there are three other white teachers, several native staff, and 120 other villagers.  Interesting place so far.

8/23/04

This last week has been spent getting ready for school.  It starts Wed the 25th.  I went for a walk after dinner tonight and found myself on the banks of the Yukon River talking to a couple who were kayaking to Nome.  I told them they could come up to the school and use the Internet to check mail.  They may come up later.

8/24/04

School starts tomorrow.  I am about as ready as I ever am.

8/26/04

School is OK.  I only have seven in the class.  A real dream job.  There are only 35 in the whole school.  The grades are K - 8, and then the kids transfer to St. Marys, about 15 miles down the one road in these parts.  There is one young man named Gabe who is very smart and one other who is funny as all get out.  The others are good kids, but there is always one with an attitude.  The problem is that his grandmother is my assistant.

8/28/04

I am the cross country coach which is stupid because I don't know the first thing about it, but some one had to do it and I am the only man on staff and the ladies did not want to.  I got a book about it and set up a practice schedule but the kids sort of come and go at will.  They don't like to practice for very long.  Their parents take them netting or hunting, or they have to baby sit.  There is always some reason.  Gabe seems to be the best.  There is a district rule that they have to practice 10 days before a meet.  To accommodate the kids I have practice on Sat and Sun, sometimes 2 per day so they can get in the required practices, gee what a nice guy I am, but it is not like I have much else to do.

8/29/04

Went to church in St Marys.  They have a Jesuit society there.

9/1/04

Got paid, $3781 clear.

10/16/04

Took Claudia, our principal-lead teacher to the airport this moring.  She is going to Anchorage for a principals meeting.  Left me in charge.  Perhaps I will call school off for the rest of the week.
                                                                           *
11-26-17

Note to reader:  For some reason I stopped keeping a log as such and have no more day to day entries to make.  Some how now and then I run across items that seem to fit this narrative and if I do I will share them with you.  

I didn't call off school that week.  I don't remember the names of the other teachers except for Claudia and I can say we were all friends but not close ones.  I had thought that that would be my last year but Paula filed for divorce when I was there and sort of left me in a financial bind.  Absence makes the heart grown fonder, but usually for some one else.  That is not really fair, she had a host of family problems  to deal with and one can only do so much.  We tried to reconcile but its is hard to do over the phone etc.  I saw her once the following year but nothing really came of it. I have not seen her since - that shipped sailed.  I came back one more year and have visited three additional times.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Deutschland Diary - Going Home, Last Entry

Sat Sept 29, 1984

We are air born.  As typical things got all screwed up before we got on the airplane.  I will not try to account for a day by day dissertation.  I will just write down those things that seem to be of some interest.

One thing I forgot to mention is that while in Rothenburg a bunch of Germans were singing in this bar we were in.  Towards the end of the song one of the men drank beer out of his shoe.  I wasn't there when he did it but when I heard about it later that evening I did not think the US should be out done.  So when they started the song again I went up to the guy , took off my shoe, poured beer into it and drank away.  He did not want to be out done so he took off his shoe and took my shoe and placed it on the table in front of us.  He poured beer into both shoes then took my shoe, gave me his shoe and started drinking out of mine, so to be polite I drank out of his shoe.

The last bivouac area we had was in a town cal Feldheim.  We were going to leave at 3:00 so about 11 a bunch of us decided to walk around town.  We were looking for something to eat.  We asked directions from a guy who spoke about as much English as we did German.  We all ended up in his house and was served food by his wife.

She brought out all sorts of meats, cheeses, roles, drinks.  We thought they were poor and just wanted to be hospitable. I told everyone to put some money under the table cloth when they were not looking.  Soon afterwords through broken English and a lot of signing we discovered that the guy owned a plumbing company, was the mayor, had four children.  One was a doctor in Canada, one taught English in England, another was and Engineer, and the other a soldier, and he and his wife had just gotten back from a trip to Russia.  We decided that the money we had stashed under the table cloth really didn't need to be there but really had no way to retrieve it.  We did want to show some personal thanks for hospitality so Dutch gave him a flash light, I gave him a knife with U.S. stamped on it, another guy gave him our unit patch.  We took their address and will send a Christmas card.  It was a very pleasant experience.  But we did wonder why he took to us so quickly and so nicely.  Come to find out he had been a prisoner of war during WWII in France and his guards were Americans.  They had treated him well.  We were the first American soldiers he had come across since his release.  He just wanted to repay the kindness shown to him.  I think he felt a little melancholy because once we were enemies and now we sat together in friendship.  He seemed touched when I gave him my knife.  It was his wife's birthday so we all sang her Happy Birthday.

 The next day we went to Tent City.  It was the Rear Assembly Area.  However like always we got lost.  We were supposed to go to a place called Heidershime, but wouldn't you know it there were two.  We went to the wrong one.  It was OK by us however.  We got to see a lot of Germany and got to eat at a regular German restaurant.

You may possibly have seen old newsreels of American GI's going through German towns standing up in the back of trucks.  Now I know why.  It was to see the towns they were passing through and the people who waved at you as you passed.  We would toss the kids candy.  One girl blew us a kiss.  I yelled out at her that I was Michael Jackson.

We finally found the right Heidershime and got settled in but of course into the wrong tent and had to move.  They had a big beer tent.  The town was off limits so naturally we went.  We visited a church, a cafe where we ate.  At the cafe over coffee we met 3 Lutheran sisters and a Lutheran minister.  He came from Nurnburg.  He said he would call Jerry's relatives.  One of the sisters was a Berliner who saw JFK when he gave his famous speech in Berlin.

Like I said earlier we are flying home.  First to Bangor, Main then to South Carolina, then to KCI.  I'll try to call from SC unless they let me off the plane in Bangor.

REFORGER is the over all name for the yearly exercise that is supposed to show the resolve of the NATO allies to defend western Europe.  Each country names it own maneuvers, the English call it Lion Heart, ours was Certain Fury.  They take war very seriously and over all I am proud to be a part. I have found that I am just as skill full in the art of artillery as some of the regulars and most of my guard counterparts are more skillful than I.  If I and my guard buddies were doing this full time we would be better than most of the regular army guys I came sccross.  I don't think that will happen, I enjoy civilian life.

Regardless we are ready.  Certain Fury means just that.  We have the knowledge, ability, and determination to the fight the Russians and if we do we will kick their ass.

Snapper/Dad - Some where over the Atlantic, heading west.  
Post Script:  I wonder if the first McAnally going west could have envisioned the mode of transportation I am using now.  I doubt it.